Oh no, it’s that office Christmas party again …
OK, so you feel you ought to go to the office Christmas do, to show that you’re part of the team – rather than duck out again with some excuse. But you dread the noise levels that will emerge from 300 boisterous people. At the same time, well organised parties can be fun and you’ll meet people that you haven’t seen for a while.
Usually there’ll be some people that you’ll want to make contact with during the evening. Check where they are in the melee and at the tables.
The party starts with pre-dinner drinks. At this point the noise levels aren’t too bad and you choose a group of people you know. With hearing aids you’re able to chat about various topics quite happily.
Check out the seating arrangements
Take a good to look around and establish where it might be possible to sit more quietly later on.
Your first big challenge is when you are called for dinner (e.g tables of ten). Try to tell the host about your hearing problems and indicate where you’d like to be seated (don’t leave this till on the day). However, if there are no set places you need to choose a table where you know at least one person and make a rapid decision about where to sit.
So, for example, if hearing is better on your right side, the person on your right will be person you speak to most, so it’s very important to tell the person on your left about your deafness (otherwise you may be written off as rude).
Once you’ve chosen a place, make a point of walking round the table introducing yourself face to face to those people you don’t know, and if necessary mention your hearing problems.
For the person on the left, make a point of turning round to face them especially in an interval between serving courses.
As the noise escalates…
When it comes to dessert, ask if you can swap with someone on the other side of the table. This is increasingly acceptable and enables you to redress some of the imbalance in the conversation.
After people have had a few drinks the noise in the room escalates rapidly and this is where things become tougher. You may have to take your hearing aids off because they can’t cope and from that point on you will have to rely more and more on lipreading.
After dinner when people move to the bar area and the band starts up – dancing begins – there will be even more noise! There may well be casino style games set up in the bar area as well.
Try talking to some people in the bar area – stand close facing them and you may be able to converse OK with some lipreading skills.
However, you really want to have a chat with Tom, one of the senior managers. The best policy is to say ‘Look, the noise is a problem, could we go and sit in the lounge area outside for a few minutes?’ Usually this works especially if he understands about your problem.
Time to leave?
The best parties usually go on into the small hours but by 10.30pm you are starting to feel tired. If you feel that you’ve spoken (even briefly) to all the people who matter (direct reports, senior managers etc) then it’s fine to go. Maybe there’s someone you forgot – go and seek them out explain that you to leave early; make them feel comfortable.
Whatever the business function, whether it’s Christmas parties, conference events or business dinners, try and plan out in advance what it is you want to achieve by attending – who you want to meet, whether there any special messages you need to deliver.
One’s attitude to these parties changes with age – if you are young and at the start of your career you may just go to have a good time, but as you get older and perhaps more senior there are other motivations for attending. Don’t hesitate to persuade people no matter who they are, to come to quieter area for a while. You may well find that they appreciate being away from the noise for a bit.
Don’t duck out of these events as it’s usually in your interests to take part, but do plan before and during the event on how to manage the process. In events where you know lots of people it can be fun – and with good self management – even quite rewarding.
One last word of advice; don’t drink too much. The office party is all about us deaf people making the best of a challenging situation – and it’s much easier to do this in full consciousness. Cheers!
A few more suggestions
- Don’t be too hard on yourself … you know you will not be able to follow everything, so don’t set yourself up to fail.
- Set a limit you are comfortable with … Thank you for the invite, would love to come, but can only stay for an hour … Keep calm, enjoy that hour and then come away before it’s all too much.
- But, if you are enjoying yourself, stay longer … You will know when it is time to leave. Go with that.
- Don’t sit down at a party … You can get yourself out of ‘tricky’ situations when on the move, and the mumbler/bearded man/unusual accent will always sit next to you …
- If you are the host/hostess politely remind everyone when they arrive, that you have a hearing loss, and maybe again as a group when everyone has arrived … But don’t keep doing it all day …
|Source of noise||Acoustics of the room||
(If you can) switch lights on
Draw curtains or blinds
Have the light on the face of the speaker
Look for sources of light
Avoid dim areas
Turn your own back to the light
Notice where the music comes from and avoid it
Notice where sounds of cutlery, china, etc come from and avoid them
Avoid the middle of the room
Stand near a wall or soft furnishings such as curtains, corners are often best
Keep away from doorways
Turn down your hearing aid and rely more on lipreading
Use the background noise programme on your hearing aid
Be aware that hearing aids amplify all sounds
Sound waves echo off hard surfaces e.g. kitchens
Look for carpeted areas and places with upholstered furniture
Tables with tablecloths and mats are good (a newspaper or table napkin make great improvised tablecloths on a coffee table)
Arrive in plenty of time and find the best place in the room for you
Try to speak one-to-one with people; avoid large groups
Explain why you need to see the speaker’s face
Don’t try and eat and hold a conversation at the same time – you will either drop your food everywhere or miss what people are saying
Take a quiet break to enjoy your food
Webpage published: 2014