Ch-Ch-Ch Changes (Apologies to David Bowie)

Deaf/hearing relationships

A question I’ve been asked – How has my life changed since Sue’s hearing went down the drain and Meniere’s took hold? Well, for a start that’s too selfish a question for me to even consider. It’s not my life, it’s our lives.

Last month marked our 27th year together, we’re not married because I don’t like rushing into things (and we don’t consider a licence would mean as much as wanting to be together), so I think our relationship could be taken as a committed one.

Pre-Meniere’s we did all the stuff a couple usually takes for granted, we went to pubs, cinemas, concerts, theatre, ate out, enjoyed holidays, visited friends etc. Horses and bikes also featured very highly in our lives so we went to bike shows and horse shows etc.

Après Meniere’s, we don’t do most of those things and those that we do, we don’t do very often. But, and I think this is most important; the not-doing hasn’t made our lives less enjoyable because we are still just as happy together. Sue always says that just because she can’t do something doesn’t mean I should stop, so I still go to a few bike shows with my friends and camp over, but keep in touch via text.

Not doing things isn’t a hardship but, when we do, they are all the more special. And I know that when we get home Sue will need a nap to get over the strain of communicating. Fore-knowledge is invaluable and I no longer get surprised by how a trip out will effect Sue.

What did surprise me most over the past 27 years was when a relative (not from my side) told me that I ‘was so good to have stuck with Sue through all her problems, not many would done that!!’ What *****. Sue is the same person I decided, years ago, to spend my life with, and for someone to make that stamen suggests they’d have packed and done a runner – and would have bitched for evermore if they’d been the one who was left. Can I say bitched here? Apologies if offence is taken.