In My Defence

Welcome to another new year, hope it’s a good one.

At the beginning of December I was in the local feed merchants chatting with the owner and I mentioned the time Sue mistook me saying that we “needed to get rat bait” for we “needed to get a rent boy”. We were in a supermarket at the time and Sue’s (understandably) surprised reaction was to say, loudly, “we need to get a rent boy?” Everything went oddly quiet when she said that and the worst thing was that some people smiled, encouragingly, at us.

As Paul, the owner, laughed a woman appeared round the shelving and asked why we wanted a rent boy? I said that Sue is deaf, to which this woman, a complete stranger, cupped her hand to an ear and said “pardon” whilst scrunching up her face in a look of confusion.

I try to be a decent human being. I help where I can. I don’t damage people or nature (although I run a car and a bike, so that could be argued against. But at least I’m not running American V8 Muscle Cars, which I adore – although I must admit that running costs are the main reason for that choice.)

My reaction to that woman surprised me, I didn’t raise my voice or use any strong language, I simply said “I might slap the next person to do that, it wasn’t funny the first 500 times.” I ended with something like ‘it’s insulting’ or ‘it’s not any funnier now………’, don’t recall how I finished that statement now. I was angry at what she’d said and surprised by what I’d said. I picked up my purchases and left. As I drove I wondered if I shouldn’t go back and apologise. But I decided, to hell with that and her, why is it still okay to make fun of deaf people and deafness?

I might have overestimated the amount of times that has been said to Sue and/or myself. So often when talking about Sue, introducing her, or her telling someone she is deaf that comment and action have been made. It isn’t funny, never was and I doubt any other disability would attract such a response. Yes, I know people are insensitive and may say the wrong thing. I’ve stuck my hand out to someone who didn’t have a right hand to shake, I just apologised and said I’d try for the other hand, which didn’t seem to offend.

Think about it, deafness is still used in humour on TV and radio whilst other disabilities are (supposed to) be taboo in jokes. Only the other week I surprised to hear a joke about somebody mishearing what was said.

So, I may indeed slap someone soon and will need this blog as evidence that other people’s anti-social discrimination and bad taste were the cause for my outburst.

My defence rests, your honour.